"He Ghosted Me" 9 Reasons Why He Stopped Texting You

9 Reasons Why He Suddenly Ghosted & Stopped Texting You

In this article you’ll learn:

  • How men think when it comes to texting and communicating over the phone.
  • The answer to your question: “Why did he stop texting me after we slept together?”
  • What it means when a guy ghosts a woman. (Knowing this will save you from many sleepless nights)
  • How to get his attention back when he ignores you.
  • Why it’s often not a big mystery why men ghost a woman.

The truth to why men ghost and stop texting a woman

I have already written a detailed article how to get a man’s attention when he ignores you. I recommend that you check out as well as it tells you in more detail of what to do when a man ghosts you.

“Ghosting” by the way, is when the other partner seem to have vanished into thin air and no longer respond to calls or texts.

It’s annoying when a man suddenly stops talking to you, and especially if it happens right after you slept together. But unfortunately this is not something new or that happens rarely.

In a situation like that you might wonder what happened:

  • “Is it because of how I look?”
  • “Am I not good enough?”
  • “Did I sleep with him too quickly?”

Women often speculate about all kinds of reasons why he seems to have lost interest. One reason is even crazier than the other.

In reality, most of the time it’s not that big of a mystery when it comes to men. When a man ignores a woman, it’s often evident why he’s doing it.

In this article, I will share the 9 most common reasons why he ghosted you:

Reason #1: He simply doesn’t like you that much

9 Reasons Why He Suddenly Ghosted & Stopped Texting You 1Look.

Men are mean sometimes.

If you’re dating a man, and he no longer texts you back… Then there’s already a risk that the relationship is over.

Guys are not very friendly in that regard.

They wouldn’t recognize “empathy” even if it would hit them straight in the face.

Men are just less empathetic than women

As a result, they don’t always understand the consequences of their actions. Or know what to do in social situations.

For instance, when a man doesn’t like a woman anymore, and don’t feel like seeing her again.

In such a case, he can do a few things:

He could tell her he doesn’t feel like dating her anymore, and that it’s over. But that means he has to deal with the consequences of his actions (a lot of emotions, and potential drama.)

And that’s something that men find hard to deal with, and therefore, want to avoid at all costs.

So what do they do?

They use the following strategy:

“I’m not going to text her first anymore. And later, I’ll completely stop responding to her. So sooner or later, she’ll get the message and stop trying.”

If a man doesn’t like a woman, or feels that he is done with her, he will often just stop texting her. It’s mean and ice-cold, but that’s how cowardly some men are.

But there’s one exception:

If a man doesn’t like you but finds you attractive…

Then there’s a chance that he will only text you when he wants to have sex with you.

So if you ask him how his day was for example, then he won’t respond.

But a few days later, then you might get a message from him where he’s asking you if you want to show up at his place at 11 pm, for a glass of wine and a movie.

Woman texting

And of course, you know what that means.

Be careful when guys send you messages like this because he could be a player.

Radio silence and then suddenly a booty call? That’s pretty obvious, right?

If you want to fool around with him, go ahead. But if you’re hoping to have a relationship with him, then responding to these kinds of requests should be the last thing you do.

Tell him this instead:

Sorry, I’m not that kind of girl. But you can take me to the park on Tuesday afternoon if you want ;)”

If you subtly explain to him that you won’t let him use you for sex, then he’ll soon get the message.

He might give it a few tries to see if he can change your mind. But if you stay strong in your beliefs, and keep telling him no, then he’ll soon give up. Simply because there are plenty of women who are “easier” in his eyes. And  sleeping with them “doesn’t require this much work“.

And that’s fine, because he’s better off breaking another woman’s heart, than yours.

Reason #2: He has met someone else

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Suppose you just started dating a nice guy. He’s handsome, strong, and intelligent.

You’ve been on a few romantic dates together and pretty much text each other every day:

  1. On your first date, you had a drink and then went for a nice walk in the park.
  2. On the 2nd date, you went to his house where you cooked a delicious meal together.
  3. And on the next date, you spent the whole afternoon and evening together where you got to know each others passions.
    You really got the feeling that you were getting to know each other on a deeper level.

All in all, you slowly became more and more into him.

Then out of nowhere he suddenly stops texting you on his own and only replying to you in short words. And before you know it, he ignores you altogether and you can feel that something has changed.

You’re left wondering: What happened? Where did he go?

Chances are you’re not the only one he’s seeing

For some men it’s very normal to date several women, at least initially until it gets serious with one of them.

Then he’s done with the rest. And instead of letting you know, he’s simply doing what I just described in Reason #1. And just stops texting you.

Reason #3: He’s busy

9 Reasons Why He Suddenly Ghosted & Stopped Texting You 3Look.

Men have tunnel vision. If they’re focused on one important task, then everything else disappears into the background.

You see, men can’t focus on several things at once. And our brains are mainly built to solve one specific problem at the time.

Unlike women, who can easily focus on several things simultaneously and make connections faster.

Suppose a man is swamped at work because his boss has put him on an extremely challenging and demanding project.

At a time like this, he doesn’t even think about texting with anyone

Not because he isn’t attracted to you, or because he is seeing somebody else.

But simply because he’s currently dealing with a problem that forces everything else out of his mind.

In this case, he’ll eventually realize that you haven’t heard from him, and then he will get back to you.

And it’s possibly that he won’t understand that you’ve been waiting for him, so he might act as if nothing happened.

What you can do is to explain to him that you thought he didn’t want to see you anymore. But I suggest you play it cool and just continue where you left off. And focus on the fact that he has reappeared.

For bonus points, you can always ask him what happened to the project he was working so hard on.

Reason #4: He doesn’t have time to meet up

The Player is often unable to meet but doesn’t give a clear reason why

This one’s a little different from the busy man.

A busy guy might forget your existence for a while. Not because he doesn’t like you. But because the stress causes him to have tunnel vision.

The next male trait is strange and confuses many women.

When a guy doesn’t have time to meet, he won’t text a woman back simply because he doesn’t see the point.

He is using his phone to go on dates, not as a way to communicate with women

He uses it purely to set a date and time so he can see you in person.

But if his schedule doesn’t allow for it for the foreseeable future, then he won’t even bother with it. It’s simply of no use to him to text back before his calendar has cleared up.

It might be the case that he has been texting with a woman before in a situation like this and it only ended with her getting frustrated at him because it seemed like they were texting forever without ever meeting up. So now he’s doing the opposite to avoid all of that.

Disclaimer: If a man says several times that he doesn’t have time to meetup, then it’s likely he’s not that into you and is leading you on.

No man is so busy that he can’t take 15 minutes off to drink coffee with a woman he likes. So watch out for this.

Reason #5: He doesn’t text to be social

9 Reasons Why He Suddenly Ghosted & Stopped Texting You 4

Guys only text much when we are communicating with a woman that we like.

But we never do this with other people. Not with our friends and not with our family.

Most men know that a woman appreciates the daily updates and how her day is going. So he plays along to earn himself extra points in her eyes.

But he’s not doing it for him.

Simply because it’s not in a man’s nature to text for fun, and only if he likes a woman very much will he go along with it.

It all has to do with how men process emotions, and the communication differences between men and women.

  • Men feel more connected to someone when they’re doing an activity together.
  • Women like to talk and exchange information, and feel more connected that way.

He just doesn’t get it…

If you try to explain to him that you text to be social, he’ll nod understandingly.

But he doesn’t really get why you do it, only that you do it, and that you expect him to participate in it.

Reason #6: He got what he wanted

9 Reasons Why He Suddenly Ghosted & Stopped Texting You 5

Have you ever been on a date with a guy but didn’t hear from him afterwards?

Or worse:

Have you ever been on a date that ended up going all the way, but afterwards you didn’t hear anything from him again?

“Yes. He stopped texting me after we slept together”

Moments like this can often damage a woman’s self-confidence. You feel like he used you or that you were not good enough for him.

But before you start going down this downward spiral of negative thinking, let me say this:

Some men just like the hunt more than the actual catch.

These guys like the flirting and the game to win her over more than the actual date or even sex itself. Once they conquer a woman, the fun is over for them and they don’t see a reason why they should put more energy into it.

You typically run into this behaviour a lot when you’re dealing with players.

If that happens to be the case with you then here you can read how to beat the player at his own game.

My point is this…

It’s not necessarily your fault that he’s ignoring you. It could just be that he values the freedom of polygamy more than any one person at the moment.

Or that he just simply cannot have a relationship right now because of work or something that he’s going through personally, so he ghosts because he doesn’t see the point. As I mentioned earlier.

It might help to wait two or more dates before you sleep with a guy. Some men think that you are ‘more valuable’ because you don’t give in right away. With that said, if you have sex or not on the first or second date has ZERO effect on him wanting to have a relationship with you. I explain why in great detail in this article.

But here are some things you can think about when you just started seeing a guy:

Avoid trying to seduce him. Most men like to hunt and to win the woman over again and again. So be a bit unpredictable in the beginning to make it harder for him to ‘figure you out’.

Cancel your date at the last minute. Ignore him for a day or so. 

The more you make him feel that he “almost got you, but not quite yet”, the better.

Reason #7: It’s ‘too hard’ to get you

9 Reasons Why He Suddenly Ghosted & Stopped Texting You 6

Some men are so weak and impatient, and especially when it comes to dating and relationships.

Some immediately want to kiss or sleep with a woman halfway through the first date. And when they don’t get it, they will give up and lose interest in her. They prefer an easier woman who ‘isn’t that difficult’.

Those men are just pathetic and hopeless so I wouldn’t worry too much about them. It’s just a good thing they gave up on you, you deserve better.

With that said…

If you are the kind of woman who waits ten dates before you sleep with a guy, then you are doing yourself a great disservice.

Men are prepared to wait if a woman is worth it, such as a potential girlfriend material. But having him wait weeks or months for sex makes no sense. You are shooting yourself in the foot if you’re doing this and only eliminating great guys from yourself.

Reason #8: You’re not what he is looking for

9 Reasons Why He Suddenly Ghosted & Stopped Texting You 7

Sometimes the reason why a man ignores a woman is more obvious than you would think.

I’m sure there have been plenty of times when you have been on a date with a guy and it was nice and all, but he just wasn’t what you were looking for.

How did you let him know that you were not interested in seeing him again?

It’s probably not completely unlikely that you simply stopped responding to him and figured that he would eventually get the message.

It’s one the most subtle ways to reject a guy and keep his self-confidence intact.

And that is exactly what he does to you:

He wants to let you know in a subtle way that he’s not interesting in taking “your relationship” any further. You are simply not supposed to be together.

For me personally, I think it’s a horrible way to handle the situation. It is a cowardly trick both many men and women use quite a lot.

Reason #9: You might never know why

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The last reason is one that is sometimes forgotten:

Some men are strange and will never give you a reason why he suddenly vanished into thin air.

Maybe his dog died recently.

Maybe his ex has come back into his life.

Whatever it is, you will never find out. Which obviously makes it easier to blame yourself.

Try not to wind yourself up with all kinds of scenarios. It might just be his fault.

With that said it doesn’t hurt to ask yourself the question:

“Did I do anything that might have caused him to ignore me or lose interest in me?”

And be honest with yourself.

Now you know 9 reasons why he he stopped texting you back

A man will never reject a woman he cares about. Unless he’s completely crazy.

So when he no longer contacts you, chances are that he doesn’t like you. And that’s okay. You should be glad that you got rid of him and that he’s not leading you on. Now you will be available for a guy who can be 100% committed to you.

PS: You might want to read about these articles as well:



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Tim Veninga is a dating coach, relationship coach and social psychology bestseller author from the Netherlands.  He has been featured in media like Cosmopolitan, Glamour, Marie Claire & Elle.

Hi, I’m Tim Veninga. Since 2008 I’ve been coaching men and women to archieve succes and happiness in their love lives.

For years I’ve only been writing in Dutch, but in 2019 I started writing in English as well after many women asked for it.

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