He Ignores Me? 10 Tips To Quickly Get His Attention Back

He Ignores You? 10 Simple Tips To Quickly Get His Attention Back

A man ignores a woman

In this article you’ll learn:

  • What’s going on inside a man’s mind when he ignores or ghosts a woman.
  • The answer to your question “Why is he ignoring me all of a sudden when things seemed fine?”
  • What to do when you’re being ignored or ghosted by a guy.
  • The most effective way to provoke a response from him when he isn’t responding.
  • How to easily get his attention and make sure that he doesn’t ignore you again.

I received the following short e-mail from Samantha:

My boyfriend ignores me

“Hey Tim. I have been dating a nice guy for some time now. But over the last week, I hardly heard anything from him apart from a short text on Tuesday.”

“Even after I send him more texts, he still doesn’t reply. Why doesn’t he like me anymore?”

Well Samantha, obviously I can’t read his mind. But in this article, I will discuss the possible reasons why he is ignoring you and how you can get his attention and get him to reply back to you.

Because it’s one thing of knowing why he stopped responding to you, but it’s another to know what to do about it.

I have written 10 tips to help you understand:

  1. Why men ignore women.
  2. What to do when you’re being ignored or ghosted by a guy.
  3. The best way to get a man’s attention when he is ignoring you.
  4. How to get him to text you by his own initiative.

This will give you a good tool kit that can help you with all the different situations that you might encounter in your dating life.

I honestly believe that when you know how men work and can understand them better – then you’ll know what to do when these problems occur.

So are you ready?

Here are my 10 simple tips to get his attention when he ignores you:

Tip 1: Understand how men communicate

He Ignores You? 10 Simple Tips To Quickly Get His Attention Back 1

Many women e-mail me to vent and complain. They say they can’t find a nice guy, or when they are dating one they feel like he doesn’t understand them.

I do sympathize with them because most men are just cavemen sometimes.

Most men don’t realize how their actions affect other people

Guys are extremely short-sighted and don’t understand how women work at all.

The majority of all the thousands of men I have coached don’t know the differences between men and women.

It literally takes me a week to teach a man how women think, how to talk to them, and to learn the simplest things about them.

They don’t fully realize how they’re making the woman on the other end feel when she’s being ignored or when he only replies with one word after she wrote a long text to him.

Here’s something important to understand:

A man’s brain simply has fewer developed areas for processing emotions and more for logic and rational thinking.

Men don’t think or experience emotions the same way women do.

That’s why men tend to treat their feelings like a problem to solve, while women like to process their emotions by talking about them and sharing them with other people.

Have you noticed that when a guy is working on something, he blocks out and forgets everything around him?

Here’s an example:

Suppose he is in the living room and decides to go to the garden to cut the grass. But on his way out there he passes the kitchen and doesn’t even realize the pile of dishes that were left behind since last night’s dinner.

He can literally walk right by it without even noticing it because he’s in his own head and is thinking about something else entirely.

And I know for you as a woman, this can be incredibly frustrating because you can watch this happen right in front of you and think to yourself.

“How can he not see the mess that’s covering half the kitchen?”

So what does this have to do with you being ignored…

He does the same thing when he texts

Sometimes women are surprised with the way a man replies to their texts.

He might respond with a one-word message or not at all.

Is it me?”, she wonders.

And yes sometimes that’s the case. But sometimes it could just be that he picked up his phone, read the text, and then something else entered his mind which either made him respond very shortly (because he didn’t know what to say), or he completely forgot about it.

I’m not saying that’s always the case. But in the next tip, I’ll teach you how to deal with the situation.

Tip 2: Give him time

He Ignores You? 10 Simple Tips To Quickly Get His Attention Back 2

There are typically two types of women who ask me for advice on these kinds of situations.

Woman #1: The woman who texts and often dates several men at the same time until she finds her perfect man. She knows what she wants, has multiple options, and doesn’t wait for the man of her dreams to suddenly show up. The only reason why she cares if one of her “leads” suddenly ignores her is if he’s potential boyfriend material.

Woman #2: The woman who’s texting with a guy she really likes. She can’t wait for him to text her back and the situation makes her feel insecure because of the fear of losing him. She even wonders if he even likes her, and why he even does that.

It often happens that strong and independent women become insecure when they finally meet a great guy. Normally they’re very confident but their feelings can cause them to become insecure around him.

It’s not easy when that happens because it makes you emotional and prevents you from thinking clearly and be your best self.

But don’t worry, we have all been there. It happens to the best of us.

When you really like a guy – it makes you behave differently towards him

One moment you might feel great because he texted you but just shortly after you might become sad because you haven’t heard from him in a while.

You want to text him or be with him all the time. And when that’s not possible, you think about him constantly until you next time you see or hear from him.

It’s like you become addicted to him and the attention you get from him. And your brain hates it when it doesn’t get what it wants or even crave in some sense: Him or his attention.

It becomes this emotional roller coaster where your mood swings up and down constantly, especially if you don’t know where you stand in the relationship.

It’s very easy for it to spin out of control and make you appear needy

Here’s what happens:

  1. A woman meets a guy, starts liking him, and develops feelings for him.
  2. Everything seems to be going fine until something happens or changes in the relationship or his feelings for her. (It could be one bad text, something awkward on a date, or perhaps just that she asked him “How was your day?”) etc.
  3. Whatever happened causes him to give her less attention, text her less, or even completely ignore her.
  4. She realizes what’s happening and her brain panics to come up with all kinds of solutions to “get things back to the way it used to be”. As a result, she gets even more focused on getting his attention back. The cool and relaxed woman she used to be has now turned into a needy person who wants something from him.
  5. She typically takes it all upon herself to “save it”. She is always the person that texts him first and does everything to keep the conversation going.

It could work the other way as well of course and it’s the guy who becomes needy and desperate all of a sudden. I’m sure that has happened to you many times.

But let me tell you something…

When a guy likes a girl, he might ignore her simply because he doesn’t know what to do

He could be super into her but decide to not text her back because he wants to play it cool, or because he doesn’t know what to write. And then it’s possible he just forgot about it because something else came to his mind, as I mentioned earlier.

Other times a man can ghost or ignore a woman because he can’t meet up with her.

This could be because of a variety of reasons such as:

  • Perhaps because he’ll be traveling soon
  • Very busy with personal matters right now
  • About to start a big work project that requires his full attention
  • And so on…

if a guy can’t meet up with her which is his ultimate texting goal, then he’ll eventually stop responding because he’ll see it as “pointless” to continue when he can focus his energy on something more rewarding.

But many women think they are mind readers and assume they know what’s going on inside a man’s head – based on what they’re thinking themselves.

Trust me when I say this: They have no idea!

This makes them completely misjudge the situation and jump to the conclusion that he’s not into her – when it couldn’t be further from the truth.

So be patient

I know a close friend of mine who was really into a woman, but didn’t text her back until 2-3 weeks after her last response because every time he read her text – he didn’t know what to say.

But in her mind (and she told him this later), she wondered what happened to him and assumed he had met someone else.

So if you don’t hear from him for a while, don’t jump to conclusions and assume the worst.

it doesn’t have to mean anything. At least not initially. But if he doesn’t get back to you at all then you’ll have to consider the next tip.

Tip 3: He might not like you that much

A man doesn't like a woman that muchIf you have been patient, given him time, and you still haven’t heard from him… then you must consider the possibility that he’s not that into you.

This realization often comes as a shock to many women.

They think: “A man who doesn’t like me, how is that possible?”

That realization is often bad for their self-esteem. Even a very popular woman who’s chased by many guys can easily forget about all of them, just because one guy is not into her.

Why you shouldn’t care about this

No matter how beautiful, ambitious, or straight down perfect you are – there will always be some guys who are simply looking for something else.

It all depends on his “taste”.

Cameron Diaz, one of the most beautiful women in the world told a story during an interview about a guy she was in love with back when she was a model.

At that time she could basically have any man she wanted as she was one of the most desirable women in the world.

But one guy rejected her because of the simple reason that:

“I don’t like blondes”

Talk about being rejected for a silly reason.

She became very angry and upset about it at first. But after she had had some time to think about it, she could laugh at the whole situation.

Here’s my point…

Some men simply don’t like blondes, Latinas, Asians, short, long, or whatever it might be.

It was outside of her control (unless she dyed her hair or shaved it off, of course). Which would have been way too much trouble for just one guy.

So if he doesn’t like you for you, that’s totally fine.

But I also mentioned earlier that men typically start ignoring a woman after something happens or changes in the relationship.

It doesn’t have to be something you did, it could just be that he doesn’t like you anymore.

And one thing is for certain, he’s not likely to tell you what happened or why he’s acting this way – unless you ask him point-blank.

But did you do anything that may have caused him to stop liking you? If so then it’s important to ask yourself some important questions so you can learn from the situation and not do it again:

  • Is there anything you could have done differently to achieve a better different result with him?
  • Did you do anything to come across as needy or desperate that made him ignore or ghost you?

If you don’t know that’s okay too. You’ve come to the right place. This is where I’ll teach you everything you need to know about men.

One skill that’s more important than ever today is knowing how to text a guy without coming across as easy or clingy.

I cover this in even greater detail in the Texting Spells program. Here’s what Linda is saying about it:

“Every time I used a text from the Texting Spells or used the advice, I got a response within seconds. Incredible how good it works. The power of the Texting Spells 🙌” / Linda

In the next tip, I’ll teach you how to get his attention.

Tip 4: How to get his attention

Play with his jealousy a bit

So there are some things you can do to get the attention and trigger a response from a man who’s ignoring or ghosting you.

The absolute best way is to make him jealous.

Every research shows that people are much more scared of losing something or someone they have, than they are by gaining something. Pain is a bigger motivator than pleasure.

You don’t need to do anything crazy or over the top, simply post a picture of you with another guy on your Instagram story or Whatsapp status update and it’s more than enough.

Not one where you are cuddling or anything like that. But a photo where you are out having a good time, laughing and smiling in a bar or restaurant. Or even just a walk outside eating ice cream works great also.

What’s cool about it is that you can also check if he has seen the story. If he has then you have achieved your goal and made him think: “Who is guy?” 

One picture is enough, then stick to sharing more stories about other cool things that are happening in your life. You don’t want to make it obvious that you’re trying to get his attention or make him jealous.

Tip 5: Your “last resort” text

He Ignores You? 10 Simple Tips To Quickly Get His Attention Back 3

So if he doesn’t engage with your Instagram or whatsapp story, then you have to message him first.

The tricky thing about this is that he has already been ignoring your last text so any further sent messages on your end are going to make you look more needy and desperate.

With that said you only really have one shot at this and one of the most effective things you can do is to ask him for a small piece of advice, even if you don’t really need it.

Here’s a text you can send him “Hi I’m having issues with my wifi and losing connection constantly. I know you are like a  technical wizard so I thought maybe you could help?”

Why this kind of text work so great is because the moment he reads it he’s going to start thinking about possible solutions for your problem. He can’t help it.

Once a solution enters his mind (which it will very quickly). He’s likely going to ask you to restart the router and he can solve this problem from the comfort of his own home –  without spending too much thought or energy on it.

But make sure you only send him one single text, and that it has been at least one week since your last text.

A word of caution…

If this doesn’t work and he doesn’t get back to you, then it means he doesn’t like you that much and it’s time to move on.

What to do when he finally texts you back

So far we’ve covered how to get the attention and provoke a reply from a man who’s been ignoring or ghosting you.

Now we’ll get into the next part of the article and what to do once he actually gets back to you.

Tip 6: Keep the conversation fun & playful

He Ignores You? 10 Simple Tips To Quickly Get His Attention Back 4

Your entire goal is to get him to reengage in the interaction so you can eventually meet up with him. That’s it.

In order to achieve that you need to keep the conversation fun and playful so that he actually wants to keep texting you and of course see you in person.

Here are some things you can do to keep the conversation fun:

  • Play a questions game
  • Talk about your dreams and passions
  • Tell him jokes
  • Send funny youtube videos or memes

Avoid heavy topics such as politics, boring details such as “how was your day?“, and last but not least… don’t respond to his texts right away.

if the guy is really important to you I do then I recommend that you check out the Texting Spells Program where I teach you everything you could possibly need to know about texting with men.

Here’s what Nadia is saying about it:

Haha it’s great. Thanks to Texting Spells I found the love of my life 🥰 He thought the questions I asked him were so interesting 😛🤣😇

You want to show him that you’re an attractive high-value woman who has a busy life with lots of things going on. You simply don’t have time to text or respond to him all day.

This way you’re making it a challenge for him to get you and prevents him from thinking that he has “already won you over”, and therefore stop chasing you.

If you make it too easy for him then he will lose interest in you.

Don’t be that woman.

Tip 7: Become a person who brightens his day

Laugh at his jokes (even if he's not funny)

Here’s a recent story for you from a close friend of mine…

He was having an amazing day, was super happy, and in a great mood for no reason even though all he did was work, eat healthily, and later exercised in the evening before he met up with a girl that he just started seeing…

He told me that the moment he saw her he started to feel like she sucked the energy out of the room.

All that good mood and happy feelings he had felt all day disappeared in minutes. And even though they later slept together and the sex was great – he would rather have spent the evening alone!

In other words, she actually made his day worse than if he would have spent it alone.

I later heard that she didn’t do anything crazy that made him feel this way other than being very negative and argumentative.

You want to become someone that makes him feel good and relaxed

You want him to look forward to being with you and make his day better.

Here’s what any man wants in a relationship:

  • Respect
  • Good sex
  • A piece of mind

Even though the sex was great in the story I just told you, she didn’t give him a piece of mind and actually became an annoyance – instead of someone he could relax and just “be” around.

Do you know what happened after that evening?

He ignored her for a couple of days before he ultimately let her go.

Every man wants a woman with whom they feel better being with, and the same is of course true the other way around.

And if you’re thinking about asking him “why he ignored you”, DON’T. You don’t want to bring up any drama or negativity on the date.

If he smells drama then he might never talk to you again because a man absolutely hates this.

Act as if nothing happened. Even if you’re a little upset about it.

Let him know that when he’s with you, you’ll have fun and don’t have to think about a thing.

In other words, keep it fun, relaxed, and casual when you meet up with him. Make sure he feels good when he leaves you.

In the next tip, I’ll teach you how to do that.

Tip 8: Mix things up

Couple is taking a canoe trip

A boring relationship is a death sentence to it.

You can easily prevent this just by mixing things up and trying new things.

  • Create sexual variation. There is no secret that men love sex and it’s absolutely vital to the relationship that you’re both completely sexually satisfied. Here you can read what men secretly want in bed but will never tell you.
  • Take a trip together. Go away for the weekend or visit a new place. It makes no difference whether you go to a small town in the country or fly to Australia, as long as you’re going somewhere you haven’t been before.
  • Try a new activity together. It can be hard to come up with new ways to keep the relationship fun and exciting. That’s why I have written an article about 78 fun things you can do with him.

Tip 9: Continue to seduce him

He Ignores You? 10 Simple Tips To Quickly Get His Attention Back 5

Do you want to know one of the most common complaints I hear from men who just started seeing a new woman?

“When we first started seeing each other she made an effort to look her best. She wore makeup, nice clothes and was always absolutely gorgeous. But now she is just wearing sweatpants on the couch.”

Many women believe they can “stop trying” when they have slept together a few times.

Men like a woman who wants to look her best and seduce her man.

Of course not every day.

It makes him think something along the lines of: “Jesus christ she looks amazing. I’m so glad she went through all this effort for me.”

So not only does she feel great because she dresses up and looks her best, but it also makes him feel good about himself.

Tip 10: Don’t settle for “watching a movie at 9 pm

He doesn't introduce you to the rest of the world

Some women shoot themselves in the foot sometimes.

They like a guy so much that they agree to anything, even if it means that he’ll only use her for sex. Often they rationalize it as “he can develop feelings for me and later we can have a real relationship”. But it doesn’t work like that.

Only agree to this type of thing if you want a casual relationship or fwb relationship. I have however written an article about why that’s not a good idea.

But if you want a good healthy relationship where the guy wants you more than his toy, don’t do it. You’ll only end up hurting yourself.

So if you like him, don’t be that kind of girl

If he texts you and proposes that you come over to his place to watch a movie at 9pm, simply tell him kindly but clearly that you’re not that kind of girl.

If he wants to meet up with you, he will have to make the effort for you. And the more effort he’ll have to make for you, the more he’ll respect you and want you.

These were my 10 tips to get a man’s attention when he ignores you

Don’t change who you are because one guy doesn’t like you. If you can’t get this one specific man, there is no reason to feel insecure.

It just wasn’t meant to be.

Even Cameron Diaz can’t have certain men.

So if this turns out to be the case and you know for a fact that he’s not that into you –  then don’t waste any more energy and time on him. It’s better to accept that and move on with your life.

And don’t take it personally.



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About Tim & Changehim.com

Tim Veninga is a dating coach, relationship coach and social psychology bestseller author from the Netherlands.  He has been featured in media like Cosmopolitan, Glamour, Marie Claire & Elle.

Hi, I’m Tim Veninga. Since 2008 I’ve been coaching men and women to archieve succes and happiness in their love lives.

For years I’ve only been writing in Dutch, but in 2019 I started writing in English as well after many women asked for it.

If you want to get started learning the best of my advice, I recommend you download the 5 texting mistakes most women make.

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