In this article you will learn:
- How to make him miss you like crazy after a breakup and want you back.
- How to increase your ex-husband’s or boyfriend’s desire for you so much that he can’t get you out of his mind.
- The things you absolutely should NOT do when you want to get his attention.
- How to get him back.
- What dating coaches don’t tell you about their “get your ex back” courses.
- …And much more.
What you should know about making a man miss you
I know, I know.
If a man broke up with you, it’s a little scary. You don’t know what to do.
I understand that you’d like nothing more than to get back together with your man.
But in this article, I’m going to pull you back to reality for a minute and share with you the hard truth regarding that whole idea.
First of all, is there anything you can do to make him miss you, and get him to commit to the relationship again?
There are ways to make a man miss you and get him to want to be with you again
But they’re not what you think they are.
In fact, you’ve been lied to.
Dating coaches and women’s magazines are selling nonsense. And men will never contradict it because they consider it to be unmanly.
Here’s the thing:
Making a man long for you is both easier and more difficult than you could’ve imagined.
You will learn that in the 12 steps below.
I’m assuming it’s over between you and your ex, and that it is mainly up to you to save the relationship. So let’s get started.
Here are the 12 steps to make him miss you like crazy after a breakup:
Step #1: Realize that most break-ups are final
Do you know what I really hate?
Dating coaches who ask you to pay for a “get your ex back” program.
I won’t post a link to these little crooks. But let me explain to you why I’m not a fan of this.
What these people don’t tell you is that the vast majority of break-ups are final.
Only in a tiny percentage of the cases will couples actually get back together
But they sell you on the idea that it will work every time.
And offer you a course with the motto “it will always work to get your ex back, in every possible situation.”
But this is statistically impossible, and I notice that in my inbox every day.
I often receive e-mails from women who are completely heartbroken because their partner just left them.
They went out of their way to get their man back. And that is very normal. Because if you love someone a lot, and this person disappears from your life, then you want to do everything to get him back.
Don’t forget all that emotional pressure…
Ranging from anger to sadness, and combined with an enormous longing desire. You can’t think logically about how best to handle the situation.
Here are some of the stories I hear on a regular basis:
- One woman sent her ex husband 1000 texts (as a romantic gesture), but he doesn’t respond.
- Another one thinks she’ll never find someone like her previous man again – and has posted this on her Facebook wall as well.
- A third one witnessed her relationship fall apart over the last few months, even though they both did everything they could to recover.
I always have to tell those women there’s little chance they’ll get their men back. Not only because the above situations are utterly hopeless…
But even when the relationship ended on good terms, there is only a relatively small chance of getting back together
However, those women may then end up finding a dating coach who’s happy to tell them what they want to hear.
“That it’s always possible to get your ex back“. No matter how bad the situation is, or how clearly he told you he doesn’t want to hear from you anymore.
Obviously, that’s not realistic at all. Because if I can’t do it already (having more than 12 years of experience in dating and relationships, and having successfully coached thousands of people), then how can those more inexperienced scammers do it?
Step #2: Understand that there is no such thing as a magic pill
I can’t change your ex. And I can’t suddenly make him fall in love with you again. Anyone who says they can is a liar.
Especially if the relationship has routinely broken down and you’re now looking for a way to get back together with your boyfriend or husband. Then I have to disappoint you because then here’s very little you can do.
But in the next part of this article, I’m gonna teach you the things you can do to increase your chances of restoring the relationship.
But don’t misinterpret this as a simple way to get your ex back. Think of it as a way to increase the likelihood that your man will miss you again.
Are you with me?
Step #3: Make sure you exercise
In order to make sure your man will miss you, the first thing you have to do is to start feeling comfortable in your own skin again.
He fell in love with a strong and independent woman. Not some who spends her days eating ice cream on the couch.
Do you understand what I mean?
I can’t blame you if that’s how you’ve spent your time lately, though. I have my own unhealthy ways of dealing with heartbreak.
But don’t tell this to anyone. To the rest of the world I pretend to be made of steel.
The tension you are feeling in your body is normal
But now you’ve got two choices of what you can do with all that built-up pressure.
You can either use it to become stronger, or to become weaker.
By exercising, you make sure you convert that stress into something positive.
And bring you one step closer to getting your ex to miss you.
How about doing this instead of sobbing:
- Become the most positive woman on the planet. When you exercise you immediately feel better afterward and release that built-up pressure inside of you.
- You focus your attention on something else for a while. It’s impossible to not think about him if you’re just sitting on the couch with a bowl of ice cream. But if you focus all your attention on working out, it’s a lot easier.
- Working out makes you relaxed. You remove tension from your body and, as a result, you give out a more relaxed and positive attitude.
- You’ll get in better shape, which will also boost your looks and confidence.
- It also has lots of positive effects on your state of mind. It’s the only method, besides medication, that ensures that people with depression will recover.
Step #4: Focus on your social life
In order for you to become the woman he once met, and for him to miss you, it’s important that you focus on your social life.
And in times of heartbreak, there’s a good chance you’ll feel lonely. Then it’s almost impossible to stay positive.
So avoid spending time alone and do this instead:
- Strengthen your family bonds. Perhaps you haven’t seen your grandmother in three weeks. Did you know that family is one of the key factors to achieve happiness?
- Spend time with your friends. Both the kind that gives you emotional support, and with the girlfriends that want to distract you by taking you out.
- Flirt with men. There’s nothing wrong with checking out what’s out there, even if you want to get back together with your ex.
Step #5: Don’t try to change the mind of your ex
You miss him. I totally understand that.
You ask yourself: “ Is he going to miss me? When? How can I make my man miss me more?” I understand that, too.
And you want him to miss you as much as you do.
But will you promise me one thing?
Can you try to NOT persuade your ex-boyfriend or husband? Not even in a moment of weakness?
Because whether or not it works, you’re always faced with a big problem.
There are two common ways women use when trying to change their boyfriend’s mind
Way #1: The rational way
This includes reasoning like “we’ve already been together for ten years“, or “you’re not throwing away what we’ve built together.”
Way #2: The emotional way
Here she goes completely overboard with her emotions, and exaggerates her feelings by saying things like: “I can’t live without you.” or “If you leave, I’ll kill myself.”
So pay attention now:
If you’re trying to persuade a man to miss you, there’s a good chance he won’t go along with it.
But even if you can change his mind by using either of the methods above, you’re still faced with an even bigger problem.
Here’s what happens if you can persuade him
At such a moment, he didn’t actually decide to be with you because he wanted to, or because he’s in love with you.
No, he’s doing it because you persuaded him it’s the right decision… or out of pity (if you chose the emotional way).
So this choice didn’t come from himself, at all.
And he will never really be happy going down this path.
Maybe your relationship will last another six months. Perhaps longer, or shorter. But then it will burn out like a candle and you’re back at square one.
Step #6: Give your ex the chance to miss you
He can only miss you when you’re not having any contact with him.
Here’s the thing…
Guys can only fall in love when they miss you.
I always recommend couples who are having a hard time to take a step back for a while. (It’s also sometimes good for couples who are doing great too, by the way.)
That feeling of missing each other is a much stronger bonding force than being close to each other all the time.
But I know how scary this sounds.
It feels like a huge risk to let someone go, hoping that he will come back to you.
But research shows that men get very affected by breakups and by no longer being in contact.
Mini breakups are common
It happens quite often that couples split up for a few weeks.
One person gets second thoughts about the relationship and breaks up. Then after three weeks, he or she’ll be like: “What have I done?” And he’ll call to make it up to their partner.
This happens on a regular basis. Maybe you’ve even done it yourself.
What you never want to do after a breakup
What almost never happens is the following:
- He breaks up.
- The woman sends him text messages every day to come back.
- Or stands on his doorstep and puts love letters in his mailbox.
- And they magically get back together
This never happens.
It’s a fairytale.
And if you do try this, you will ruin every opportunity you have of getting back together.
Because you just showed him that you don’t respect a no (and thus, don’t respect him).
This is disastrous since pumping up his ego is just one of the ways to make a man fall in love with you.
But that’s not all:
As a result, he’ll never reconsider his decision. And after a couple of weeks, he’ll get over it faster.
Here’s what you should do instead
- Give him space to do his own thing, and therefore give him the chance to miss you
- Don’t send him any more text messages
- Don’t show up at his place
If you want a chance that he will come back to you, then make sure he’s not in your life anymore.
After you’ve done that, you can continue with the next step.
Step #7: Make him jealous
One of the most powerful ways you can do to make your man miss you like crazy is to make him jealous.
One simple way of doing that is by posting a picture on social media with another man.
This is a bonus tip, which I recommend you use only in rare situations.
It doesn’t hurt to let him know very subtly that you’re back on the market.
He will realize the consequences of his actions. And he’ll feel that you’re no longer in his life.
And take it from me, if he misses you at all, he’ll keep an eye on your social media.
Step #8: Use social media strategically
I already mentioned above that it’s good to make him jealous. For example, by posting a photo, or sharing a story with you and another man on Facebook or Instagram.
Of course, you shouldn’t overdo this. If you change your profile picture to a photo with another guy and update your relationship status to “in a relationship – with that new guy”, then that’s way too much.
One simple picture with a semi-friendly look with another man is enough
Also, don’t post continuously on social media, especially if you didn’t do that while you were in the relationship.
Because the more often he sees your new posts and messages, the less he’ll miss you.
By keeping him informed of what’s going on in your life, he feels like he’s still in touch with you. But when he doesn’t see any sign of life of you (except maybe that picture to make him jealous), he will start to wonder what you’re up to.
He wants to know how you’re doing and what’s going on. So he’ll think:
I don’t know how this breakup impacted her. Let’s find out.
If he’s reaching out to you; don’t respond
If he broke up with you, then now he has to pay for it. I know this is hard for you, but it will help you get back together with him, if that’s what you want.
The first step of achieving that, is him voluntarily reaching out to you. It shows that he’s still interested in you. It is of later concern to find out where he really stands.
I’ve written a whole section about how to do this effectively step-by-step in this article using the so-called ‘no contact rule’ in Step #2.
Step #9: Solve the problem
Did he break up because he didn’t feel good in the relationship anymore? Or because he wanted something else in his life?
In both cases, you should take a closer look at what you can do about the situation.
Imagine he broke up with you because he thought he didn’t see you enough
In that case you can do your best to get him back, but he’ll never agree to it if he can’t see you more often. Even if you somehow manage to get back together again, the relationship won’t last very long.
But if he can’t see you more frequently because of his own schedule, then he doesn’t have his priorities straight or anything to complain about.
But if you were the person with a busy schedule, then you can choose to make more time for him so you can see each other more often and at better times.
Your goal is to make him go wild with desire
So he can realize how much he misses you and how tragic it is that you broke up.
And if you suggest that you can see each other more frequently this time, he’ll want to get back together without a doubt.
Step #10: Ask yourself, will this man make you happy?
Let’s stop here for a second.
You’re making a lot of effort for this man. But is he really the person you want to grow old with?
I know you’re very sad now since you broke up.
But if you look very rationally at how your time went together:
- Were you happy most of the time?
- Or was it mainly stress and misery?
- Could you do what you wanted in life?
- Or did he stop you from achieving your goals?
If you answer “no and no” to the second and fourth question, and you answered “yes” to the first and the third one – then you know it’s good to keep trying.
But if that’s not the case, stop telling yourself it’s the right thing to do. Even if you miss your ex. Even though you can’t imagine a life without him, or if you think you’ll never get out of this dark place without him.
Because then the truth is, he’ll never make you happy
And giving it another try will not only take up your time but also your peace of mind.
It only makes sense to try if you think he’s the one.
Step #11: Use your attractiveness
Do you know how men fall in love?
It has a lot to do with attraction, and one way to get your man to miss you like crazy is to use your feminine attractiveness. A man can’t simply fall in love with you if he doesn’t find you attractive. He can like you very much and want to go out with you a lot.
But if he doesn’t feel that pull, the relationship is doomed to fail
It might sound strange, but 9 out of 10 men will reconsider a relationship with you based on how attracted they are of you. (And not be very concerned with why you broke up in the first place.)
You might think that an intelligent man who still has feelings for you would ask you: “Hey, are you less busy now? Or are you still working 15 hours a day?”
But that’s not how it works in real life.
Because guys fall in love when they miss you
If he still has feelings for you and you walk past him dressed to kill, he will almost explode with desire.
He can’t help it. Even though he knows it’s not good for him. He can’t resist to not go along with you.
That’s why I want you to take a look at what men find attractive in a woman. In a relationship, men want peace, a clear role, respect, and good sex. And in terms of appearance, the eyes, youthfulness, buttocks, body mass, waist-hip ratio, and other things play a significant role.
But to make it even easier for you:
Become the woman he fell in love with, once again
Over the course of the relationship, you’ve both changed. You get more used to each other and are less concerned about seducing your partner.
You have to bring that back and be willing to do that before you plan on reaching out to him.
I don’t think I have to explain to you how to make subtle contact with him.
Only do this if he has already given you some attention and reached out to you. And at that moment, focus on showing him how beautiful you are.
Step #12: Find out what his feelings are
When you’re speaking with him again, and you show him how gorgeous you are, one thing is crucial.
Is it a situation where he never wants to get back with you, no matter what?
There will be situations where you can’t fix it
He might just be done with the whole relationship.
If this is the case and you seduce him, then you will only sleep with each other and then it’s going to be over. Or worse, he’ll use you for sex while your heart breaks again into a thousand pieces.
Don’t do that to yourself.
Before you even consider doing this:
Find out if he’d like to get back together with you in an ideal world. Don’t listen to what he says, but look at how he behaves.
You can also use my test to see if he’s in love with you.
But be careful. Your heart and mental state are at stake.
If you’re not sure about it, then don’t do it.
There are millions of great guys in your country.
It sounds very blunt, but you’ll find someone else.
You could say to yourself, “I just want to be with him.”
OK. But the chance that your heart will be broken is much bigger than the chance it will work out. And it might be smarter to walk away and leave it for what it is.
Now you know how to make him miss you
It’s not by persuading him but by doing the exact opposite.
I wish you the best of luck.
And don’t forget to let me know in the comments how it went.
(This article was published previously on my Dutch site, here)