How To Text A Guy To Get Him HOOKED & Fall In Love With You

17 Texting Secrets That Will Get Him HOOKED & Fall In Love With You

In this article you will learn:

  • How and what to text a guy to get him obsessed with you.
  • Proven pre-written texts for you to copy and send with great results. 
  • How to easily flirt over text with a man (flirty and seductive texts waiting for you below in this article).
  • How to keep a guy interested through text and avoid him ghosting you.
  • Guys’ perspective on texting and the powerful K.I.S.S. method.
  • A total of 17 secrets on texting guys on social media.

Most women don’t know how or what to text a guy to keep him interested

Should I Text Him First Or Wait? 13 Texting Tips For Dating & Relationship

If you like a guy and you only have the opportunity to contact him through text messages, then so be it.

Of course, always strive for meeting up with him in person. That’s much more important than the messages you exchange.

When that happens, don’t forget to first check out this article with 21 great things to talk about on a date.

But if, for whatever reason, you can only communicate with each other over text messages, then continue reading.

In this article, I’ll give you my 17 best flirting tips and the secrets to texting and seducing guys. It applies to Facebook, Tinder, Whatsapp, Snapchat and all other similar platforms.

Which platform you use doesn’t matter that much. It all boils down to the same thing, how to make him crazy about you through text.

The 17 secrets on texting guys to make him fall for you

Let’s do it…

1. Never text longer than necessary

Turn your phone off or mute it

Look at the whole SMS, Facebook, Whatsapp, Snapchat texting thing as a way to meet him in person.

Don’t spend months exchanging messages with someone without seeing him in real life.

And when you meet up with him, make sure you first check out the 27 must know first date tips for women.

What you really want to do is give him opportunities to ask you out from the start.

You do this by giving him hints.

What you can text to a guy is for example:

  • “I’ve always wanted to go to that museum.”
  • “I heard that bar was really cool.”

Just give him enough small opportunities to say:

“How about we go there together?”

If he doesn’t understand these hints, don’t panic.

If it takes too long, you can always say something like:

“I actually think it’s a little impersonal to get to know each other over text. How about we just meet up.”

It wouldn’t hurt to come up with such a suggestion yourself.

At least try to avoid exchanging messages with each other for months on end.

And if you want more suggestions for things you can do on your first date, then here are 23 creative first date ideas and fun things to do with him.

2. Make an ‘inside joke’

Laugh at his jokes (even if he's not funny)

This is one of the best flirting tips you can apply when texting a guy. A joke like that ensures that your text messages feel much more real.

Imagine, for example, that you went on a date to the petting zoo and while you were there he came up with a joke about the goats.

“Look at those goats! They have them in all sheeps and sizes!”

Of course, you being a smart woman, you don’t have such a sheep sense of humor.

But let’s just assume you do find it funny and haven’t abandoned sheep when you heard that witty wordplay.

So, suppose you’ve been through a situation like that. A moment where you both laughed a lot.

Then it’s an excellent idea to refer to that in your text messages.

(You can make fun of him for “being the black sheep of the family” or “a wolf in sheep’s clothing“)

It’s a joke that only the two of you’ll understand;

This is what we call an ‘inside joke.’

The beautiful thing about this is that you create a kind of us-against-the-world-feeling with this.

So he automatically feels more connected to you when you bring it up again over text (only now in a different context).

3. Be a bit challenging

17 Texting Secrets That Will Get Him HOOKED & Fall In Love With You 1

Men live for the hunt. We’re literally looking for the challenge of hunting.

When there’s no effort involved, it is not a interesting to get it. And let’t be honest. You probably are also not as interested in men that are too available and have no standards. You probably prefer a man that is somewhat of a challenge to get.

The same goes for men. If something is too easy, it’s just not that interesting.

So if you make it too easy for him, he’ll stop chasing you

That is to say, he loses interest and gets bored with you.

But, of course, we will not let it get that far since you can easily prevent this by not making it so easy for him.

How do you accomplish this?

  • Challenge and test him in your messages.
  • Don’t cancel your plans for his when he asks you out and you’re already busy.
  • Don’t reply to all his messages within five seconds; more on this in tip #11.
  • Don’t text him the first thing you do when you wake up.
  • Get to know him before you go on a date with him. By making him talk at least a little bit about himself, he’ll have to invest more time and effort in you.

These are some proven ways of how to make him want you over text.

4. Show an interest in him

17 Texting Secrets That Will Get Him HOOKED & Fall In Love With You 2

It’s much easier to get a guy interested in you if you first take an interest in him… than it is if you try to convince him how great you are.

It’s just like Dale Carnegie once said:

“The royal road to a man’s heart is to talk to him about the things he treasures most.”

– Dale Carnegie

So ask questions (about him) and combine this with statements, I’ll give you some examples of that in a second.

And don’t send him this text every morning:

“Hey, did you sleep well?”

You want to avoid these kinds of questions as much as possible.

Instead, ask him fun things. Questions that really help to get to know him on a deeper level.

Here are a few examples you can use for inspiration:

  • What would you like to do more this year?
  • What habit of yours are you most proud of?
  • Is there something you’d like everyone to know about you?

With these kinds of questions, you show any interest in him and make the conversation more fun.

And if you want to do it absolutely right, then you should mix up the questions with statements.

How to effectively flirt with a guy over text is to make it fun, challenging, and playful.

Here are some great statements on how to flirt with a guy over text

  • You seem like the type of guy whom my father would hate;)
  • You don’t look like someone other men would follow into battle;)
  • Something tells me you don’t know how to rescue an innocent princess from a burning building;)

These texts play right into his masculinity.

And by doing it this way, you are preventing the conversation from becoming like a boring interview.

Want more inspiration with great questions? Here you have 101 questions to get to know each other.

5. Avoid the excessive use of smileys

Woman using too many smileys in textI recently met a woman I liked a lot. And because I didn’t want to leave it at that, I decided to befriend her on Facebook.

And we started talking on Messenger.

Then something happened that really turned me off.

Her messages were full of strange abbreviations and smileys.

And I’m not the only one who’s turned off by this. There are a lot of men who think these things are too childish.

It would be a shame for you to miss out on a great guy because of something like this that you can easily prevent.

It’s fun when you’ve discovered the button on how to send him the craziest smileys. But please don’t use it.

More men are turned off by this than there are men who think:

Oh. Wow. She uses a lot of smileys; she’s cute.

So leave it at that.

6. Avoid boring topics and subjects that are emotionally heavy

17 Texting Secrets That Will Get Him HOOKED & Fall In Love With You 3

Chatting is supposed to be fun. You want to avoid topics that are too serious, and avoid heavy emotional conversations at all times.

Some topics to avoid at all costs are:

  • politics
  • religion
  • your ex-boyfriend

When you get to know a guy, it’s not a good idea to talk to him about these kinds of things anyway.

But you want to stay away from it even more over text.

Because it only creates misunderstandings.

You just can’t read someone’s face and understand what they mean over text.

You may think that he’s probably sarcastic again when he isn’t. And vice versa.

In order to avoid such misunderstandings, it’s much better to discuss these matters in real life. And only when it’s essential to talk about it.

7. “Never have I ever …”

Now, before you think:

Hey, this looks suspiciously like a drinking game I used to play. It’s precisely the same game but through text (and without alcohol).

It’s a great game to play when you’re texting with a guy. And one of the great flirty texts you can send for him is,

I’ve never swum naked before.”

If he replies that he has, you can ask him another question.

…But if he replies that he’s never done that before, it’s his turn.

This way of texting is more exciting, and you’ll learn the craziest stories about each other too. So if you want to flirt with him through Whatsapp (or whatever platform you are using), then this is an excellent way.

8. Ask him for advice

17 Texting Secrets That Will Get Him HOOKED & Fall In Love With You 4

I’m all for women’s rights, but there is one small thing that I find a bit unfortunate about the whole feminist movement.

And that’s some of the ideas they’re spreading around the world.

For example, some women feel like they don’t need a man.

Well, that’s true to some extent.

But let me tell you something…

A close friend of mine recently met a girl that was a 25-year-old kiss-virgin who got into the MeeToo movement in her teenage years.

That beautiful woman had not even kissed a guy in her 25 years because of how she got influenced. And she is gorgeous…

One thing she felt now was that she had been missing out in life and wondered what she was thinking…

Let’s face it…

Men need women, and women need men

The most painful thing about this belief is that some women now want to do EVERYTHING by themselves.

A few examples:

  • He gives her advice; she ignores it.
  • He wants to pay the bill; she offers to share it.
  • He wants to help her carry a heavy shopping bag; she refuses his help and does the heavy lifting herself.

…And so on.

The problem here is that if you always refuse to do these things (asking him for advice, letting him help you or pay the bill etc.), then he cannot feel loved because…

A man wants to fix things for you

And if you refuse his help, you’re actually rejecting his love.

It’s like telling him for the first time that you love him, and he responds, “I don’t care.”

I can imagine you wouldn’t like this.

Similarly, he doesn’t like it when you never let him help you.

That is why it is crucial to let him know from time to time that you need him (even though that is not really the case).

So ask him for advice over text now and then and give him the feeling he’s needed.

If you do this, he’ll automatically like you a lot more.

9. Compliment him

Happy man just got a compliment that made him feel good about himselfIt’s easy to have a man fall for you when you stroke his ego.

This is something that works for EVERY man.

One effortless way to caress his ego is to compliment him.

That easy?

Yeah, it’s that simple. It’s one of the most effective ways to make a guy fall in love with you (over text).

The reason compliments work so well is because men usually hardly ever receive any

But suppose you give him some, then he’ll immediately feel good about himself.

Guess what person he’ll link that good feeling too?

Right, you.

Compliments are just a straightforward way to hit on a man, both in real life and over text.

So send him a compliment once in a while. For instance, if he has a new photo on Whatsapp, Facebook, or Instagram.

It’s a small effort that makes a big difference.

10. Make yourself STOP

17 Texting Secrets That Will Get Him HOOKED & Fall In Love With You 5

There are times when it’s never wise to send a message to a guy you are interested in.

What are those moments?

First of all, I’m glad you asked.

I don’t know if you occasionally drink alcohol.

But I do know it’s a terrible idea to send messages when you’re under the influence.

So that’s something you want to avoid.

That’s it?


Also, when you’re (very) emotional, it’s not a good time to exchange messages.

On these moments it’s better to make yourself STOP.

By the way, as I mentioned before, it’s never a good idea to discuss heavy and too serious conversations over the phone.

Just don’t send messages if you’re under the influence (of alcohol or strong emotions), that will save you from sending messages you will later regret.

11. Don’t respond to his every text within 5 seconds

Don't respond to his every text within 5 seconds

We mentioned in tip #3 that men want to hunt.

Right, (even if we say we don’t) we want to make an effort for you.

And it’s idiotic because if we can’t bother “getting” you, we don’t value you.

And if we don’t value you, we’ll lose interest quickly.

Again, this is something profoundly stupid.

But still very important.

And on the other hand, how would you like it if a guy on the first date said to you:

“OK, I want to marry you, and I want to have three kids”

You’d probably run away screaming, wouldn’t you? Thought so.

Well, that’s what it feels like for a guy when you have no value in his eyes.

What does this have to do with text messages?

Well, look. If you reply within 5 seconds each time he sends you a message, then you’ll come across as very easy, and you’ll lose your value.

Answer his messages when you have the time. Don’t prioritize replying to him over your own agenda.

12. K.I.S.S.

Keep It Short and SimpleNo, by that I don’t mean the legendary rock band KISS.

I was referring to the English acronym K.I.S.S.

In other words, “Keep It Short and Simple.”

It’s something you want to apply to your messages. No matter what platform you are using.

Because of guys’ perspective on texting, always try to keep it short and simple

The reason for this is that men see communication as a way of exchanging information.

This is guys’ perspective on texting:

When two guys are talking to each other, you’ll see that they’re constantly exchanging facts with each other. This form of communication is based on the fact that everything must be short and precise.

If it’s not clear what you’re trying to express to him over text, then he will immediately become confused. Through chat, this confusion happens even faster than usual.

In other words, K.I.S.S.

13. Send exciting messages

17 Texting Secrets That Will Get Him HOOKED & Fall In Love With You 6

If you haven’t slept with each other, skip this one.

But if you have been intimate, it’s fun to send him an exciting message once in a while.

In other words, sexting (sex + texting).

With sexting, you make him think about you sexually

This study even shows that sexting contributes to a good relationship.

I’ll give you an example and how to seductively flirt over text with a guy below.

“Hey, I was thinking about you in the shower today.”

The fun thing about this specific message is that it’s up to him how he interprets it. It’s a very innocent way to flirt with him sexually.

14. Avoid daily updates

17 Texting Secrets That Will Get Him HOOKED & Fall In Love With You 7

You’ve heard me say it before, but for men, communication is a way of exchanging information.

When two men are  talking, they are constantly exchanging facts with each other.

And even when a man talks to a woman, he’ll think:

“She’s telling me about her day at the office, so I’ll tell her about my day at the office.”

Because men are extremely simple beings, two problems often arise when we talk to a woman…

  1. If you tell us an entire story, you’re giving us too many facts.
  2. If you tell us a story without any “meaning,” we don’t understand a thing.

The first problem women usually realize on their own, but the second one is still quite new for most women.

For example, if you send him a message like:

I just ate spaghetti. I’m SO full right now.


My colleague called in sick today, so now I have to work twice as hard.

Then he’s like:

Well, what am I supposed to do with this?

He doesn’t see any fact that he can do anything with, so it’s better not to send this kind of message to him at all.

Because he doesn’t know how to react to this, he is likely to respond rudely, or not at all. And that will make you feel worse.

Prevent this by avoiding sending this type of messages. If you want to hit on a guy through text, follow this principle:

15. Less is more

17 Texting Secrets That Will Get Him HOOKED & Fall In Love With You 8

OK, communication is vital in every form of a relationship.

But some women are guilty of sending too many messages to a man.

(If this applies to you, you’ve been caught red-handed.) 😉

Well, it’s also true that it very much depends on what kind of messages you send. “I’m looking forward to tonight” is much better than “What are you doing right now?”

But still…

It’s never a good idea to send a man a lot of messages, unless you have been dating for a long time

Even if he likes it at first, he may very well wake up one day and think:

I think it’s all going a little too fast.

Thoughts like this can suddenly enter a man’s mind. He might start thinking that you’re not the right for him. He might think that he has commitment phobia.

So take it easy, especially in the beginning.

This prevents him from being turned off by you, and it also saves you time. A win-win situation 😉

16. Don’t be negative

Woman smiling at her phone in the rainI can understand that you don’t always feel great.

(… Everyone sometimes has days when things are not going well).

But let’s be honest. When you start dating, you want to show your best side.

So even if you have a bad day, it’s a good idea to send him a nice message.

Or if you feel terrible, don’t send him anything at all until things are better.

In the beginning, you want to leave out problems

If something tragic has happened (such as the death of a family member), then you can bring this up.

But you don’t want to bother him with problems you are having at work or similar situations. Especially not over the phone or text.

He’s just not going to respond well to this.

Later, when you’re in a relationship, you’ll have plenty of time to talk about these things (in person). But for now, keep it fun over text and when you meet up.

17. Flirt the same way you do over text as you do in real life

Flirt with him

You probably already have some flirting experience that has worked well for you in the past.

Everything that works in real life, also works when you’re texting with a guy.

The way you communicate may change, but the principles stay the same.

Did you notice that this article about texting, has a lot of similarities with my other articles about flirting and making a guy fall in love?

You didn’t notice? Really? Well, now you know 😉

Therefore, besides the advice I gave you in this article, you can also apply the things you already knew about men.

So text him in the same ways that have already worked for you in real life.

Now you know what to text a guy and how to flirt with a guy over text

And by the way, the best way to learn how to make a guy fall in love with you, is by subscribing to my free newsletter.



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16 thoughts on “17 Texting Secrets That Will Get Him HOOKED & Fall In Love With You”

  1. Hello Tim,
    Thank you so much. Your tips have been very helpful. The guy I like lives in a different continent. Does this apply to long distance friendships as well?

  2. Mackenzie marion

    Hello Tim, the guy I like Is my OB and we just meet but he calls me his partner in crime and he told me he loves me and he said am the type of girl he wants but me I don’t believe in him and am developing a crush on him ! What should do because I really need a love who will be true to me and love me the way I am…am tired of hit and run!

  3. Chunlin Huang

    I dated a Congolese man and he didn’t reply my text in days. I noticed that he only responded my message when he wanted to see me. I am quite disappointed by his behaviour. However, it was fun time hanging around.😂

    Definitely not going to waste time on players!

  4. Hi Tim, am facing difficulties with the person am dating right now. It’s a long distance relationship, we’ve seen each other once. He seems to have blocked me from seeing his what’s app status and doesn’t text me like before. I remember complaining about it to him and he said he was just busy with some stuff and promised to spare more time for me… But now he takes forever to reply to my texts… I did follow the tip of not replying so fast but the situtation hasn’t got any better

    1. Leave him alone, … When a man is interested he shows all the signs. Happy to text and talk and most of all available he’ll make time for you. Yes! Different men in certain cultures are different learn that if this is the case but even then the same applies when a man is truly interested the effort isn’t so hard. Fall back and let go. Do it for you, YOU are WORTH it !!!!….

    2. Just remember at the end of the day, men are ruled by one part of their body. If you can make him sexually aroused and talk to him by Sexting, you have him

  5. Thanks for sharing these amazing tips, these tips will surely help me in better planning for my next date.

  6. I dm’d a guy on Instagram. He responded a month later. Then I responded 2 weeks later and he responded immediately and said he is coming to my city November 5 so I told him to text me and I gave him my number. He left my message on read and hasn’t texted me. Did i do something wrong? 😩

    1. Maybe he was trying to see what you would say. He’s trying to play hard to get, text him that you’re in his city or put up an interesting Instagram status. Then leave him on read as well LOL. Or he will prob text you soon

  7. M seeing a guy for more than 1 and a half year over the text..
    It’s a long distance relationship we met just once..over few months he has been acting very weird…he will text me hours later… smtimes ignores my msg…
    When I don’t respond his msgrs he start calling me…whn I ignore his calls…he keeps on calling till the time I pick up……m not able to understand what kind of behaviour is dis…
    What is he up to

  8. Hi Tim, I recently met a guy on a dating app. we chatted for a about a 2 weeks and in those 2 weeks came his birthday. He invited me over to the beach with his friends. we hit it off physically just like we were chatting. We usually talk on the phone for quite a long time. He teases me and i do the same. I notice everytime he’s gonna say something, He refers to us as “WE”, like always including me to him. This is still new and been burned before in that aspect. Is it normal that i’m kinda apprehensive and a lilbit scared or sceptical about where this is going?

  9. I met this guy at my friend’s birthday party and we flowed and communicated well. After some time we became intimate but he didn’t want to date me and didn’t want to lose me either, Everytime I started away after he made me feel not wanted he wanted to come closer then. Tried dating someone else to get over him but couldn’t. I complain every time she changes behavior and he takes it as me complaining too much about him as a person. To cut the story short I fell like I’ve lost him already he doesn’t want to meet up anymore and only has a good conversation with me once in a while only if he wants. I really want this guy but I don’t know what to do. Somehow it appears I was too easy to get and then the complaining too but how can I get him back?

  10. Hello there,

    thank you very much for this article! One thing. How man reacts if the woman initiates the messages? e.g. On Monday she texts him, he replies. Next 2 days no messages from him side. On Thursday she texts him again he replies. Then he texts first in couple of days, randomly … In this case obviously he is not hunting. On the other hand she is curious about him, she would like to know him, she enjoyes conversations with him, for sure she is not chasing him. We, as women are impatient especially if we like him. On the hand he must be too busy and who knows what he has in his mind ..

    So should we STOP sending the message first?

    Thank you!

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About Tim &

Tim Veninga is a dating coach, relationship coach and social psychology bestseller author from the Netherlands.  He has been featured in media like Cosmopolitan, Glamour, Marie Claire & Elle.

Hi, I’m Tim Veninga. Since 2008 I’ve been coaching men and women to archieve succes and happiness in their love lives.

For years I’ve only been writing in Dutch, but in 2019 I started writing in English as well after many women asked for it.

If you want to get started learning the best of my advice, I recommend you download the 5 texting mistakes most women make.

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