In this article you’ll learn:
- How to make a guy fall deeply in love with you, forever.
- What exactly makes a man fall in love and commit to a woman.
- How to use 36 questions to get him to become crazy about you.
- The simplest way to use jealousy to make him obsessed with you.
- How to stand out from other women and become ‘the one’ for him.
How to make him fall in love with you so deeply that he never wants to leave you…
So there’s this guy you like. Maybe you like him a little bit more than that. Maybe you even love him.
But there’s just one little thing:
- You know that he’s not in love with you, yet.
Since I started coaching in 2008, this is by far the most common problem I have helped women with.
Most women want a magic pill that makes any guy fall in love
A solution that works anywhere, anytime, and within a few minutes.
From my (12 years) experience, I can tell you that there is no love potion, no magic pill – and no – also no magic spell.
But there are simple things you can do to make him fall in love with you.
I’ve written down the 23 most effective ways to do so in this article below. They’ve been proven to work for my clients the past 12 years, and if you apply them well, they will work for you.
They may not always be the most ethical, but… they do work.
Here are the 23 tips to make him fall in love with you:
Tip #1: Go on as many adventures as possible
What I mean by this:
Try to do as many different activities with him, in as many different locations as possible.
That creates the illusion that you have known each other for a long time.
- Work out together.
- Go for a drink in another city.
- Go on a date to a new location, for example, the zoo.
Ensure that you create as many different experiences as you can together. Not only will he get the feeling that you have known each other longer, but he’ll also like you more.
After all, you’re the one with whom he’s had all these awesome adventures. That will make him want more of them.
Bonus tip: If you really want to give him that butterfly-in-his-stomach feeling, do an activity together that releases a lot of adrenaline.
Research shows that this dramatically strengthens the mutual connection. Go bungee jumping for example. Even playing a game of twister does wonder, “left foot on… green”.
How to apply this advice
- Use this list with 77 fun things to find an exciting activity and pick one. Let’s pick ‘waterskiing’ for now.
- Tell, call or text him with something like: “Hey, this week the weather will be good. There’s a new wakeboard and waterski place open. Wanna go waterskiing together?”
- Go waterskiing (or any other activity). Have a great time and do something else the following week. Thus don’t do the same activity 2 weeks in a row.
Tip #2: Make him think the relationship is his idea
So you’ve been dating for a while, and you think it’s time for the next step? Although it may be tempting to tell him this directly…
Don’t do it.
You can give him a few subtle hints, but above all, give him time.
A man wants to think a relationship was his idea, a typical (stupid) male trait that you can’t blame him for.
Don’t put pressure on him
Even if you recognize several signs that he’s in love with you.
When he feels that you’re trying to force a relationship, he’ll think you’re desperate, and that’s bad.
So give him space and time, especially in the early stages when you just met.
If he has the feeling it was his idea to start the relationship with you, then he is not likely to leave you. This way you also prevent him from saying that “we are moving too fast” since it was his idea and not yours.
Tip #3: Make eye contact
I keep finding it funny that the impact of eye contact is still underrated. It’s simply a great way to provoke (sexual) tension in a man.
You can literally seduce him through eye contact alone without saying a word to him.
Have you ever heard of the movie Twilight?
In this film, you can clearly see what eye contact between two people can do. If you don’t know the movie, here’s a little impression:
As you can see in the video, eye contact plays an incredibly important role here.
And it’s not just in the movies. It works amazingly well in real life too. So make sure you use this simple tip to seduce your man.
Tip #4: Get physical with him
Touching him is so incredibly important that it would simply be stupid not to do it. You don’t even have to trust me and my blue eyes on this:
A study from 1992 showed that people think you’re more attractive, nicer, and taller when you touch someone.
Now you’re not supposed to get handsy (save that for a later date).
I mean touching like:
- Dusting off his clothes.
- Putting your hand on his shoulder when he’s joking.
- Giving him a playful punch when he makes a silly remark.
He’ll feel more comfortable with you when you occasionally touch him.
This creates the idea that he has a chance with you. So you give him the ‘green light’ to fall in love with you.
Tip #5: Hit on him by not hitting on him
How you do this? Well, look, it’s exactly as Fanelli puts it:
“Rather than spending your time trying to lure him in, remember that people who are comfortable with themselves are interesting because they’re doing things that make them happy, and that’s very attractive.”
Dr. Joe Fanelli
What we can learn from this is that having your own life will make him find you more attractive.
You can apply all the other tips from this article. But if you don’t have something exciting going on in your life that you are passionate about, he is going to get turned off.
So make sure you have something interesting going on with you.
Do the things you’ve always wanted to do since you were a kid (but that your mom might have forbidden you from doing).
Not only will it make him more attracted to you, but it will also make your life even more enjoyable. Win-win.
Tip #6: Let him invest his time and energy in you
This may sound a little tricky because when you’re in love, you want to see him as much as possible.
Understandable, but there’s a little problem:
That will quickly give him the impression that you’re ‘easy.’ And that’s something that guys (even if he likes you), find very unattractive.
If you want a man to fall in love with you, you have to get him to make an effort for you. Ensure he puts his time and energy into you.
Then he will value you more. People will appreciate the reward a lot more when they have to work harder for it. Men are performance-driven, and it’s important that you understand that.
Some simple things you can do to guarantee that he invests his time and energy in you
- Ask him for advice, for example, about something that happened at work. Even if you don’t need his help at all. Him helping you out is energy invested in you.
- Let him fix something in your house, for example, have him change a bulb. I’m not saying you should act as if you’re helpless and weak. But it’s nice to have him work for you a little.
This also applies to how and when you guys see each other.
You want to avoid him seeing you as ‘too easy.’ You want him to make the effort. So, for example, if he always proposes you to meet him at his place on Monday night at 10:00 p.m., say:
“Sorry, I’m not that kind of woman. If you want to be with me, at least I want you to put a little effort into it. Let’s go to ‘XYZ place’ next Saturday because that’s much more fun.”
In other words, he needs to make a real attempt. This is crucial for guys to fall in love.
Tip #7: Share your opinion with him
We talked about it in the previous tip.
Asking him for advice is a very good strategy to get him to fall for you.
But this doesn’t mean that you suddenly have to ask for help on everything.
Men like women who occasionally dare to share their thoughts on things. There’s a reason why a woman without an opinion is one of the biggest turnoffs for men.
So if he asks you:
“What do you fancy?”
Then don’t say:
“I don’t know…”
Instead, just say what you feel like at that moment, even if it may sound silly and you think that he won’t like it.
In short, don’t forget to express your opinion once in a while.
Tip #8: Spend time on your appearance
The male brain responds differently to visual stimuli than a woman’s mind. It turns out that a man’s brain reacts a lot stronger to the display of sexual images.
Just how shallow guys are is confirmed here for the umpteenth time.
Now there are two things you can do with this information:
- Complain about the shallowness of guys.
- Accepting it and use it smartly.
Personally, I prefer the second option, and I’m glad you feel the same way.
You don’t have to be a supermodel
I don’t mean that you have to starve yourself and use your credit card and go for a shopping spree.
What I mean is:
- Put on some beautiful clothes.
- Spend time on your appearance.
- Take your time to do your make-up.
- Go to the gym every week.
It doesn’t have to be all that extreme. As long as he can see that you spend time on your looks, health, and take good care of yourself.
Men interpret this as:
“Gee, she’s gone to great lengths for me, perhaps I have a chance.”
If you want to make him fall in love with you, then this step is crucial.
Tip #9: Laugh at his jokes (even if he’s not funny)
And that’s funny because men are looking for a woman they can make smile. Like it’s supposed to be.
If he tells you something funny and you laugh at his jokes, you give him the confirmation almost every man is looking for.
This will make him think:
“She laughs at my jokes. I knew it; I’m so funny.”
That’s how you feed his ego, and through an impulse, he’ll feel better about himself.
And meanwhile, he thinks you’re the one who brings out this feeling in him.
For that reason, he will want to see you more often and will start liking you more
The funny thing is that it’s the same for all men: every guy you meet will try to make you laugh. So seize this kind of opportunity and giggle at his jokes.
Tip #10: Make him happy in bed
You must have heard that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach?
Although there’s a (small) grain of truth to this, there are several aspects that are much more important than eating…
Sex is one of them. It’s a crucial factor.
I’m sure I don’t have to tell you that a good sex life is essential for a good relationship.
I don’t mean to say that you should go to bed with him on the very first date. But if you’ve been dating for a while, at least make sure things are good in the bedroom.
And it’s also important that it stays that way.
So, how do you make him happy in bed and keep it that way?
I already assumed you would ask.
That’s why I wrote this list with 17 things men desperately want in bed (but will never tell you).
Tip #11: Mirror his movement
You can see this trick everywhere. Even the smartest businessmen use it. There is, of course, an excellent reason for this:
Because it works.
We, humans, are attracted to people who are similar and ‘the same’ as us.
By imitating something as simple as his movements, he’ll get more attracted to you. A study shows that it’s not only about the actual moves, but timing also plays a role.
What mirroring him means and examples of it:
- When he laughs, you laugh.
- If he sits with his legs crossed over, you sit with your legs crossed over.
- If he puts his hand on his leg, you put your hand on your leg the same way.
This unconsciously creates a lot of attraction. Make sure you leave the masculine movements to him and don’t try to imitate them.
Tip #12: Expose yourself to him
It may sound a little crazy, but this time, I literally mean that you have to expose yourself to him.
40% of your body to be exact. A scientific study carried out by Leeds University shows this to be the correct amount of skin exposure to attract men.
(On the picture to the side you can see the right amount of body exposure.)
They discovered that women should expose 40% of their skin to maximize their chances of attracting men.
So if you go on a date and the opportunity allows for it. Go ahead and show some skin.
Tip #13: Have in-depth discussions
The first dates can often be a bit superficial and easygoing, and there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s just new and exciting in the beginning.
But you are already at least a few dates in…
If you want to win him over completely, then it’s about time you had some more in-depth conversations. These topics will lead to a deeper connection between the two of you.
For example, one experiment shows that:
- In-depth discussions build more trust and increase the willingness to enter into a relationship.
- Hiding information from each other has the opposite effect.
In other words, through in-depth conversations, you create a real connection with him. This connection will make him see you as ‘relationship material’.
“But Tim, what exactly do you mean by in-depth conversations?”
I mean talking about things you usually don’t talk about very easily.
Say, for example:
“I never really tell anyone this, but before…[describe an experience of the past]…”
Now it can be a little scary to tell a personal story. It’s always hard to be vulnerable.
But if you’re really into him, opening up and being honest with him can create a bond that he doesn’t have with any other woman.
Tip #14: Take a genuine interest in him
Nowadays, only a few people really listen to other people.
It seems as if everyone feels an urge to prove themselves to other people.
The result is:
- Men who brag all the time.
- Women that only talk about themselves.
With this, we forget one crucial thing, and no one can describe it better than Dale does:
“You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.”
– Dale Carnegie, Author of How to Win Friends and Influence People
By taking a genuine interest in him, he’ll automatically become more interested in you. This is a typical trait that every person has.
So when you meet up with him, make sure you actively listen and ask questions. This will make him like you much more than when you try to convince him of how much fun you are.
Tip #15: Don’t tell him that you love him
Many women tell their men instantly that they’re in love with them. Whether it’s after one day or 30 days, it’s never a good idea.
I know all you want right now is to find out ways to make him fall in love with you…
But by telling him you are in love with him, you’re depriving him of the opportunity to fall in love with you.
Because men want to win you over at the beginning of the relationship.
If it’s already immediately apparent that you’re in love with him, then there’s nothing left for him to conquer.
So keep it to yourself for a while. Otherwise, you’ll make it a lot harder on yourself than it already is.
Tip #16: Make him think of you when you are apart
If you’ve been dating for a while and slept together, it’s time for the next step.
What’s the next step?
If you have no idea what sexting is, it’s sending sexually exciting messages. Maybe you’re now thinking:
“Pfff. As if that’s important.”
That’s what I thought too until research revealed how important sexting really is.
“Sexting contributes to a healthy relationship.”
88% of the people in this survey by The American Psychological Association said they had used sexting.
All in all, enough reason for you to start doing it as well.
If you want to know how to do it better, then read this article with 17 texting secrets to make him fall in love with you.
Tip #17: Use his jealousy to make him fight for you
Men are biologically not very likely to enter into a relationship with someone. Simply because they did not need the protection of a woman in the past.
Anyway, there’s one thing that makes all men want to ‘own’ a woman. Owning may sound a little bad, but that’s how it feels to us.
What’s that thing? Jealousy.
Jealousy makes him feel like he has to fight for you
And even though men don’t like to admit it. This ‘I-have-to-fight-for-her-feeling’ is making him very attracted to you.
Because he now runs the ‘risk‘ of losing you, and he doesn’t want that.
When he realizes this, he will automatically like you more and make more of an effort for you.
Here are some ways you can make him a little bit jealous.
- ‘Accidentally’ upload a picture with another guy on your Facebook.
- Drop this in your conversation where possible: “I was having a drink with …(name)… the other day, and he told me …[which applies to your conversation]…“
But do not make him TOO jealous.
For example, what you don’t want to do is:
- Flirt with other guys in front of him.
- Compare him to your ex.
So play with this a little, but do it modestly.
Tip #18: Let him know what type of man you like
An attractive man won’t settle for a woman who doesn’t know what she wants.
This gives the impression that she’s desperate and happy to be with the first guy she meets.
And that’s just far from attractive.
In other words, let him know what kind of man you are magnetized by.
Even though that description is a lot like him, it doesn’t matter. Because by letting him know what you’re looking for in a man, he’ll think:
“She knows precisely what she’s looking for in a man.”
This makes you look anything but desperate in his eyes.
Tip #19: Make him fall in love with you by using 36 questions
This may sound a little crazy…
But there is a list of 36 questions that you can use with your man to fall in love with each other.
Psychologist Arthur Aron discovered these 36 questions in his laboratory and made two people fall in love with each other.
I know how weird this sounds, but every word of it is true.
The results are even stranger than it sounds. That was actually the reason why I decided to write about it.
But I have to warn you… These 36 questions work exceptionally well.
Tip #20: Go hot and cold on him
If you’ve ever dated a guy who sometimes responds to your message within 10 seconds, and then goes silent at other times… Then you know what I mean: this causes a lot of confusion and sometimes even a little frustration.
The reason this works so well (no matter if you’re a man or a woman), is because it’s unpredictable behavior.
When a person systematically knows what’s going to happen, it’s not fun anymore. That’s why watching a movie for the second time is boring.
Instead of watching the same movie over and over again, you want to see a new one. Because a film you haven’t seen yet, brings back the excitement again.
The same is true for a relationship
If every moment together is the same, there’ll come a day when one of you will say:
“I can no longer go on like this…“
Nobody wants to be in a boring relationship. And you can avoid that easily by including variation. Give him a lot of attention at one time and then don’t give him any attention the next time. Be a bit distant at one moment and then a little closer the next.
Well, you get my point, use some variety.
Tip #21: Be mysterious
When you want to make him fall in love with you, on the one hand, it’s important that he gets to know you well.
But on the other hand, it’s also essential that you stay mysterious.
Because then you’ll make him think:
“I don’t know what it is I like about her. She’s got something intriguing.”
And men love it when you’re a bit unpredictable. As a result, he wants to know more about you, because there’s so much of you he doesn’t know…
So don’t tell him your whole life story on day one, but instead, take an interest in him (tip #14). Tell some things about yourself and then continue talking about him again.
This way, he’ll want to know more and more about you. And this is often the moment when he falls in love with you.
Tip #22: Flirt with him
This might be obvious but you can’t expect a man to fall in love with you if you don’t flirt with him.
You know what I mean:
- Give him the sexy look.
- Make a subtle, ambiguous remark.
- Stroke your hair with your fingers when he says something to you.
- Move your upper body a little when you’re talking.
- Give him your brightest smile when he says something funny to you.
…And so on.
It’s true that men aren’t good at picking up subtle signs, but with flirting, it’s a totally different story.
Men love these subtle signs, and these will ensure that he thinks of you all the time. He’ll long for the next time he sees you, and meanwhile, his sexual fantasies will be running wild.
Tip #23: Take care of him
By taking care of him, I mean:
- Clean up his clothes.
- Cook for him sometime.
- Bring him a cup of coffee in the morning when he wakes up.
- Send him a message to ask how his grandmother is doing at the hospital.
It may sound a little strange, but these kinds of caring gestures remind him a little of his mother.
…Every man has some kind of aptitude to look for a woman who would be a good mother, too. Because instinctively, men are looking for:
- A woman who is sexy (tip #7).
- A woman they have to make an effort for (tip #5).
- A woman who is caring and who takes good care of other people.
By making sure that you do something caring for him every now and then, he’ll quickly see you as ‘relationship material’.
Now you know how to make him fall hopelessly in love with you
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