In this article you will learn:
- #1 reason why you fall for the wrong person.
- How to stop dating a married man you love – for good
- The worst dating advice you can get (hint: love doesn’t conquer all).
- A basic principle that prevents him from getting in your head.
- Why distracting yourself is an excellent way to deal with an impossible love.
- …And much more.
How to finally let go of that taken or married man you love – but know you can never be with.
I know what you’re thinking.
Because besides being a dating coach, I’m also a mind reader.
If you’ve arrived here, you’ll feel butterflies in your stomach for a guy that is less than ideal for you.
Maybe it is downright inappropriate because he or you are taken.
But some women fall in love with a man who’s unattainable.
Or when it’s really not an option. Like a stepbrother, cousin, teacher (sometimes even when you’re in first grade) or a married neighbor in a relationship.
It’s not as bad if you fall in love with a player or a bad guy.
That’s also not ideal, but in some cases, there is something you can do about it.
For now, however, I’m assuming you’ve made up your mind:
“No, I am not waiting around to be with this man.”
It’s not happening, and it’s not going to make you happy.
“I’m in love with a married man how to stop it.“
“Tim, fix it.”
Consider it done.
It won’t be easy…
…but if you follow my 7 tips below…
…I’m sure you can cope with your bad crush healthily and leave that impossible love once and for all.
So you can become available to someone else. Someone better.
Here we go:
Tip #1: Accept, don’t resist your emotions
I wish it worked like that, but unfortunately, it doesn’t
It’s not like you see the perfect man and can just say “sim sala bim,” and then you fall in love with him head over heels.
If this were the case, every woman in the world would be in love with me.
No, love is an emotion you can’t control.
Infatuation used to be seen as a mental disorder because it kills the ability to think rationally.
You can fall for a man who’s not at all right for you.
Like what you’re experiencing right now.
It’s important to understand this so that you stop fighting this feeling.
Because if you try to suppress it, you’re setting yourself up for failure.
If you are in love with a married man, such as your best friend’s husband, fighting that will only make you want him more.
And when it’s impossible to do something about it, it’s a very tough spot to be in.
Letting go of a married man is not an easy task…
In the next tip, I’m going to give you some concrete advice on letting go of that married man.
Tip #2: The more attention you give your impossible love, the stronger it gets
You can see falling in love as a plant.
A plant needs water and light. If it gets that, it’ll grow.
Small plants grow large, as we say.
It’s the same with love.
Love is like a plant. If you have a crush on a married man…
The more time and attention you think about him, the bigger it becomes.
The emotion takes on epic proportions to the point where you can’t think of anything else but the crush you have on that married man.
And if you want to avoid falling more in love with the wrong person, this is the worst thing that can happen to you.
But of course, it also works the other way around.
If you don’t water a plant…
…and store it in a dark place without daylight…
…then it will not blossom.
And if it would already have blossomed, it would die faster.
You can do the same with your feelings for him.
You can make sure your love doesn’t get the time and attention to grow any further.
How do you do that exactly?
Tip #3: Limit the time you spend near him
Sylvana is a woman who fell in love with the wrong man, and she knew she didn’t want a relationship with him.
Her best friend had dated him before. And that didn’t go successfully, to say the least.
She told me about how he misbehaved:
- He cheated.
- He lied to her.
- And he could not be trusted.
Apart from that, Sylvana wasn’t exactly eager to date a man who’d done it with her best friend before.
But I don’t think I need to tell you that.
Yet she considered hitting on him, purely because of the hormones that were going through her body.
That’s what love does to you, and Sylvana wasn’t immune to that either.
Then she remembered what to do when you’re in love with someone that you really don’t want in your life.
If you don’t give that man any more attention, he is no longer your concern.
That means she took the following steps:
- She blocked him on Facebook and WhatsApp. They often used to exchange messages for “fun,” but this was over now.
- She decided not to say hi to him when she went out. If he did come to chat, she was distant and waved him off a little.
- When she started thinking about him, she distracted herself.
How you do that, you’ll read in the next tip.
Tip #4: Distract yourself
It’s not strange that you’ll think of this man sooner or later.
Loving the wrong person is very hard.
Even if you remove him from Facebook and don’t talk to him anymore.
Love is, after all, incredibly strong.
Love makes you stop thinking clearly and idealizes a guy when he doesn’t deserve it.
Especially if it’s a player or a bad crush, then you’d prefer to just forget about him.
You just learned that you can’t control who you fall in love with.
So you’re stuck with that for now.
Fortunately, there is a simple way to deal with it when this unattainable love shows up on your mind.
And that’s by distracting yourself.
Go and exercise.
If you’re lifting weights or running at full speed, it’s impossible to also think about the man in question.
And by exercising, you deal with the negative emotions in your body.
By redistributing muscle tension, you’re much more relaxed and composed afterward.
- Do something fun with your friends or girlfriends.
It doesn’t matter what it is, as long as it takes up your attention.
And let’s face it: the support of other people is simply necessary most of the time.
Avoid talking to them about what you’re going through.
- Go meet someone you haven’t seen in a while.
Or send that person a message on WhatsApp or Messenger.
- Do something nice for someone else.
Whether this is a neighbor or your grandmother, make a nice gesture to make their day a little better.
This will immediately get you out of your melancholy mood if you have one.
- Set a new goal
At work or in your studies. And work hard to achieve this goal.
“How to get over a married man fast.”
There is no clear way of getting over a married man fast. How long it takes varies from person to person…
Tip #5: Give it time
Love can happen in an instant.
That’s why we call it love at first sight.
Unfortunately, it doesn’t go away as quickly.
Usually, this takes a quite while.
During that time, you may be dealing with heartbreak.
You can accelerate this process by thinking of that man as little as possible, and by giving him as little time as possible.
That will make you forget about him a lot quicker (makes sense, right).
But that doesn’t mean it’ll be over in a few days.
Because being in love evokes all kinds of intense emotions.
And a part of you right now is probably fighting against my advice of not talking to that guy again.
You think of all sorts of good reasons why you should.
But it’s good to know that this is the disturbance in your head that’s deceiving you.
If you find yourself in that situation, just reread this article.
Make sure you apply everything, with “distraction seeking” as it’s the most important weapon in the heat of the moment.
Assuming that you’ve removed him from your phone as I told you.
I can prescribe you the medicine, but you’ll have to take it yourself.
And when you’re in love with someone, it’s not always easy.
But, I have faith in you.
I know you’re a strong and independent woman.
When you keep going after this guy, there’ll only be problems.
So take care of yourself.
And don’t fall in the trap like so many other women have that didn’t read this blog.
Tip #6: Date other men
There’s a reality distortion when you’re in love, that I haven’t covered yet.
Thinking that he’s the only man on earth that’s ever going to make you happy.
That’s a problematic thought.
This makes it feel like you can never give him up, purely because your entire romantic life rests on his shoulders.
That he’s “the one” is nothing more than a delusion of reality.
Your emotions are confusing you again, purely because you are in love.
If you never thought about him again, a new man would come along and fall in love with you.
It might not happen right away, and it could even take a couple of years.
But during that time you will meet many nice (unmarried) men.
And the man you finally decide to be with is going to be a great match for you and make you very happy.
As you may have realized, it’s more important to be happy than to pursue a destructive love.
But what if you can’t get over this one particular guy?
“Meet other nice men.”
Some women who fall in love with the wrong guy have few other men around them.
For example, if you only have women around at work, and also only have mainly women in your circle of friends…
…then men are a lot more scarce in your life.
You don’t see them as much, and maybe you don’t have much experience.
Or you just have more needs than are being satisfied at the moment.
In that case, it’s essential to meet as many men as possible.
And take the first step towards
“leaving a married man for good”.
By meeting a lot of guys, you get a better idea of whether there are other nice or good men you can fall in love with.
My first tip would be to learn how to be attractive to men.
The most important thing is that you’re open to flirting with as many men as possible, so you can better separate the interesting ones from the rest.
it does wonders for your progress on…
How to get over a married man you love.
Often you’ll see that over time you’ll meet someone who is sweet and who can really have a positive influence on your life.
Tip #7: Work on your life as a happy single
Even if you’re happy with everything in your life, you can fall in love with a man who is not right for you.
Even if you’re in a relationship, you can fall in love with someone else that makes you think, “WOW!”
So it’s not strange when that happens.
- Are you single?
- And was the man you became obsessed with absolutely not what you were looking for?
- And do you have a lot of trouble getting him out of your head?
Then take a critical look at how much fun your life as a happy single really is.
“It’s easier to forget someone when you’re joyful.”
Many women think they’re enjoying themselves being single, but in reality, they are not happy with the situation at all.
They feel empty and unfulfilled because they have no one to share their lives with.
And I don’t blame them for that.
Especially when you’ve had a long relationship, you’ve become convinced that life is more fun when you do it together with someone.
You can forget how to keep yourself busy and make yourself happy, just because you’ve mainly done it together with someone else for a long time.
Some women regularly fall in love with an unattainable man.
A man who isn’t into her, or where the consequences of having a relationship would be substantial.
There’s often something more going on than a “fall in love”.
If you regularly fall in love with men who aren’t at all right for you…
…then pay a little extra attention to my article on bad guys and the science to why women find them attractive.
If you understand what’s going on, you can then start building a single life that makes every woman jealous.
By making choices that serve you and that keep you away from your obsession with unattainable men, you can create a whole new life for yourself. A great life.
I can talk for hours about the best way to deal with this.